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by Joel Fagerberg

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1.
2.
one day i will discover nothing again we swim sun gaze you will recover touching the pin the rim flipping the entrance stone isochrone follow the soldiers through the thicket of trees believe hollow i'm older, true love ticket of leaves naive still eager to please swallow the words and the feelings the floor and the ceiling i don't wanna go by myself flipping the entrance stone isochrone
3.
in a dream looking back looking back in a dream (i see the mountains and i see the dying trees i see the mountains and i do not wanna leave) don't forget write it down write it down don't forget (i hear the words fade and i hear the final notes i hear the words fade the record is playing slow) watch the Sphinx cry waking up older now older now waking up (i feel the ending and i feel it start again) like a riddle did i even solve it? i was told
4.
in the egg, there's something there what it is, i cannot be sure until i open it it's a bet you couldn't bare couldn't lift what cannot be yours the money's counterfeit what you said, i couldn't care all it is, is the way i swore the way i thought it is like a shed that wasn't there yes it is, sitting on the shore with me inside of it inside the inside of the heart i will live in my own world just to give everything away and watch the branches curl everything seems to be twirled in a twist i cannot convey and yet it all unfurls moon is shining like a pearl in the mist where a promise waits a promise made of pearls inside the inside of the heart i want what's inside the heart in the egg there's something there there's a promise made of pearls inside the inside of the heart i want what's inside the heart
5.
Now / Never 03:44
give it all away it's not the reason why we know i want everything to move in the same direction as the sunlight but it can't be so the wings, they do not wanna glow at night only for a day the shadows lift and now we know it's time now / never nothing still makes sense just like a surreal story of this place trying to get hold of memories they seem to be misplaced i think once before inside i used to feel it all moving you are not the same you're not who i remember i can't go home, not ever it was just a myth but i will still believe in it it's mine now / never
6.
i was waiting for the world to turn like the music playing while the sunset burns in the forest i can't see a thing like a Grecian chorus singing just for me i will find it even if it's fake time will tell the secret like a wish we make it's the story that we tell ourselves 'cause all the hero's glory ends in tragedy
7.
8.
my little nightmare it could be something more than just a dream prayer but i'm not keeping score the smell of cold air i cannot close the door i see you somewhere some place where you are more than i can it seems so simple it seems so real and all i want's so brittle it breaks when it does fall how do you know it? the song you used to sing i want to hold it to save myself from more than i can
9.
golden string shines in the light it twists and turns the light beholden like a kite the wind beneath the bright i'll dream it all away i'll leave myself today i'll watch the entranceway to find another way home i still wish that it was so so easy to let go to leave the things i know to be the one who knows a paradox of prayer a feeling in the air to be the one who stares with eyelids closed aware of everything is too much for me everything is too much to see is it the same way for you when wading into blue? the sky, the ocean too to feel and know what's true will we ever be sure? is anything as pure as sitting on the shore the way we were before? i doubt that it is realer reveal the spin-wheeler the cards from a dealer, play everything is too much for me everything is too much to see everything will always be moved passed everything was always the past sandglass
10.
open the door
11.
Shell 03:36
wait, it's not right you never ever seem to remember the moonlight reflecting on the river of your soul fate, it's not mine i'm better off escaping forever into night reflecting all the mirrors made of gold i'm not sold it's not gold we hold it's not like you to be like this see, what i know crack the egg and find out for yourself tomorrow it feels so real but i can't bring myself please, i don't know i play the game but i won't ever tell where i go i go to sleep and hear the faintest knell can you tell? it's a shell we held it's not like you to be like this
12.
i am going into the forest there's a path like an ouroboros trust the plan in the clearing is where they'll find us all the versions of me, we'll discuss who i am i can hear all Stravinsky's violins clear away all the signs of my sins all i said all the birds, they will sing the silence they will save me from all the violence in my head there are things i have done i regret i still carry this Catholic debt it's not right still i try to forgive and forget but it's hard when this Heaven has yet to arrive reaching out towards the hero's glory but he wasn't a hero, was he? trace the fall every dream is another story but the ending's a little fuzzy can't recall follow me into where i've been take a look at this archetypal type of person, they are an idol of the lie it's another falsehood recital of the perfected, patricidal face of time and i want to be something different and i want to be everything that i am not it's a puzzle i can't seem to solve 'till i walk away, then it's absolved i am free follow me into where i've been where i'll go where i'm not i am
13.

about

Antipoetic is the thing
flowers mostly in the spring
and when it dies it lives again
first the egg and then the hen

Or is this merely an unreason
flowerless the which we beg
antipoetic mocks the season
first the hen and then the egg
- William Carlos Williams

credits

released August 13, 2022

recorded August 2022

written/recorded/performed by Joel Fagerberg

album art by Joel Fagerberg

**WATCH: "The Hero's Glory"
vimeo.com/738957562

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Joel Fagerberg Cambridge, Massachusetts

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