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Jester Equinox

by Joel Fagerberg

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1.
what you see is not the real thing but it feels just like the real thing every time i have this feeling i remember every feeling looking at the moon through your eyes i can see myself through your eyes a projection of the real lies i could never realize, your eyes and the gates of night open stuck inside this star-filled whirlpool swimming in a circle, it's cruel in this dream i'm always a fool i can't help but play the same fool it feels like the sun will never rise, tonight it seems like the moon is telling lies, your eyes and the gates of night open
2.
Mask of Luna 03:44
i see a a face upon the moon at night a mask of of light the shadows turn to white i don't wanna believe it, it's not right Luna Luna i'm begging you tonight (take off the mask and see what's waiting) Mask of Luna a nightmare a dream the difference does not seem to be there the seam is tearing into threes the truth comes and leaves us in the morning you'll disappear again Luna Luna illusions of a friend (underneath the mask there's a memory) Mask of Luna
3.
this beauty is so thin the surface always spins in circles night and day but i can't look away so where do you begin? and where's my origin? and is it night or day? are moon and sun the same? just like a ship adrift where did i go amiss? i see you in the waves i try but i can't say to wade right through the mist to take it all from this to be the one who stays to feel it's all okay the tree of life does shift the sea of mind abyss inside the ocean's cave i'm swimming all the way but i can't hold my grip but i can't see the gift it's fading all the way i'm letting go today you know i'm just a fool for you all that i know is right it isn't always right i try so hard to see but all i see is me a mirror of the mind everything in sight the ego, 1 2 3 it's counting everything every way is white and black at the same time but all i want to be is what you want from me i give myself to spite to jealousy and fright i no longer can see the ship is lost at sea i'm blinded by the night it's time to see the light i'm blinded by the night this life, a dream, of life somewhere over rainbow a story never told a mystery of love a feeling from above and also from below mirror becomes window and now the prism shows the nothing that i know you know i'm just a fool for you
4.
Icarus 03:27
see the sun i want to see the yellow sun turn white to day from night, but i'm asleep i just can't wake up from this sleep tonight can't see the light, 'cause it's all in my head my dreams are turning red sky a shade of blue but also greenish, too wash it all away the ocean comes in waves in waves reaching out on melting wings Icarus bring me back a ring of roses turning black it's true i see the truth, but it's a trap i always fall into this trap it's true the lies are true, 'cause try to make it right again and then again try to turn the tide the end is just the end try but cannot fly i cannot comprehend the end reaching out on melting wings Icarus
5.
Ring 00:11
6.
Déjà-là 04:53
what you desire in the night it will be gone come morning washing away all my dream worlds watching the way that my dreams swirl 'round and around into the sun 'round and around until they're done what you desired was a trap it was nothing just nothing starting to wake and i see light parting the lake as my three signs open the way back from my mind open the way back, it's inside
7.
can't recall the rise and fall memory's clean i'm in between starting over, start it over it isn't real it's how i feel i'm emptied out without a doubt it comes and goes the rain and snow i've made amends the circle bends starting over, start it over (can't recall, the rise and fall)
8.
Equinox 00:20
9.
3Cycle 03:38
10.
in the clear where all this distance is no more a prayer an instant before all is there and i can hear the song’s encore aware of every before the one who dances needs no crutch silent as a dreamed-of name i am guided by the wings i am guarded by the flames deep and high when break the trembling banks that hold the night as it was foretold with a light it pierces through appearance holes of light eternal unfold i jump over the towers tall self i know it wasn’t this in the end i always fall so much more or less than this? open arms it comes to me with something new alarms the bells that haunt you like a star only to say this au revoir the morning calls you now i am but a fool again dancing on an empty stage singing 'till the very end singing of a silent name
11.
pull a joker card and play to win but you can't win without, first, failure it's just the way the game is played this way is always every single day is a new game but you can't start without, first, ending you can't (without) it's just the way the game is played this way is always

about

The wise men said I'd miss the bar
And when I tried I fell
The fool dangled his trinket star
And cried "You leap so well!"

"You leap so well now you must leap
This high and very much higher!"
So when the wise men were asleep
I jumped the tower and the spire
- Grace Fallow Norton

credits

released February 23, 2023

recorded January/February 2023

written/recorded/performed by Joel Fagerberg

(additional vocals on "Fool 4 U" by Anastasia Platoff)

(lyrics on "Singing of a Silent Name" include interpolations from "If the Prayer Be Whole," "For Him Who Breathes Such Air" and "The Fool" by Grace Fallow Norton)

album art by Joel Fagerberg

**WATCH: "Déjà-là"
vimeo.com/801305598

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Joel Fagerberg Cambridge, Massachusetts

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